Therapy for Depression

HELP MOVING TOWARDS A MORE FULFILLING LIFE

Am I Really Depressed?

Especially if someone has been depressed for a long time—maybe even since childhood—they can be unsure whether this is “just the way life is” and think “maybe I just have to get used to it”. I have found that people only tend to ask this kind of question when they are suffering far too much. These people almost always benefit a great deal from coming to therapy.

In my opinion, a diagnosis can be helpful, but it is not the most important part of a person’s treatment. Instead, I am interested in knowing and helping the whole person in the full context of their life. I discuss with people their thoughts, feelings, dreams and aspirations. We explore their relationships, their important life experiences and the seemingly irresolvable problems they have encountered. I care about people’s histories—about the ways that they have or have not been hurt over time, the ways that they have or have not been loved and cared for, and the always unique ways that people have processed and incorporated these experiences to become the person they are now.

Nonetheless, people often want to know if they qualify for an “official” diagnosis of depression or other mood disorder. I think it’s understandable to want to know, and I’m happy to discuss this with clients who are curious. Having a diagnosis can often help someone who is depressed feel less shame or guilt and can also sometimes give people a feeling of hope. After all, we have very good treatment for depression, and most people who get treatment do eventually feel much better.

Am I Depressed? Or Am I Just A Terrible Person?

Excessive guilt is a symptom of depression, and it is common for people who are depressed to think very poorly of themselves. People who are worried that they might be terrible people should work with a therapist. Often times people who are convinced of their badness have an incomplete view of themselves that leads to a distorted understanding.

Sometimes people do have one trait—or many—that they find unacceptable because these traits so deeply conflict with their values. These people often want to change something about themselves, but have been unable to do so. Gaining a greater understanding of one’s self can often lead to more feelings of self-compassion, even for the parts of ourselves that we do not like.

Sometimes in therapy, people find that the hated part of themselves that they thought was unchangeable are actually possible to change, though they had been going about it the wrong way. Therapy can sometimes help people reorient their approach to a problem, which subsequently results in change to the behavior or trait they didn’t like.

Am I Depressed? Or Is The World Is Just Terrible?

Along a similar vein, people sometimes wonder if the feelings of misery that they regularly experience are a “normal” given how many problems there are in the world. Such people may notice upsetting events like wars, income inequality, various forms of discrimination and the numerous ways that people can be hurtful and violent toward one another. I believe it is very understandable—and maybe even important—to feel upset about such things for some period of time. When we notice environmental destruction or people being hurt and exploited, we can sometimes take actions to help and protect each other. I think that this is very important.

Depression is different from the very normal and healthy suffering we feel when we notice bad things happening to people or to the natural environment that we all depend upon for our survival. With depression, people have a very narrow scope of vision, and usually do not notice the lovely, beneficial, and pleasurable parts of life as well. The dark and the light parts of the world are always there, but people struggling with depression notice almost only the very dark and painful parts, which can make being alive hard to bear.

Tragically, people who are depressed are often too unmotivated, too fatigued and too miserable to be able to help anyone. We can’t help others when we are too depressed to get out of bed. When people come to therapy and get relief from their depression, they become more able to be the people they want to be. People who are depressed can become more present with family members, become better friends to their friends, and become more available for volunteering or social advocacy, if that is important to them. If person deeply cares about others—and people who struggle with depression usually do—getting less depressed is the first step toward being able to act in accordance with their values.

How Do I Know If I Need Therapy?

Importantly, you do not need to know if you are depressed to know if you can benefit from therapy. If you feel miserable, guilty, sad, or unmotivated much of the time, I encourage you to find a therapist who seems like a good fit for you and make an appointment.

If you think I might be the right person to help, I encourage you to contact me. Now is a very good time. I will be happy to hear from you.

Schedule a time to talk via phone, call 415-881-8260 or email me to get started.