Lesbian Couple Therapy San Francisco

LGBTQ Relationship Counselor for Lesbian and Queer Couples

I am a San Francisco relationship counselor for lesbian couples and queer couples. Lesbian and queer clients often seek me out because they are seeking a couples therapist who will understand them and their relationships well. Although I also identify as trans-masculine, I have considered myself part of the queer and lesbian communities since young adulthood.

A Couples Therapist Who Understands Queer and Lesbian Relationships

Lesbian couples and some queer couples often share a level of closeness that is less common in straight or gay men’s relationships. Many lesbian and queer couples feel that this is the most enjoyable and satisfying aspect of their relationship.

Unfortunatley, this closeness is sometimes discouraged by some marriage and relationship therapists who misunderstand queer and lesbian relational styles as “too close”.  This is due to unfortunate bias in the research, literature and instruction that is used to train psychology students and relationship counselors. When a lesbian psychology researcher looked at lesbian relationships, however, she observed that the closeness common in lesbian couples does not predict relationship problems. Both lesbian couples with relationship difficulties and a lesbian couples without relationship difficulties tend to exhibit this “very close” connection.

Relationship counselors who are not familiar with this research on lesbian couples can place an unfortunate and counterproductive strain on a couple who is already struggling. A lesbian or queer couple may come to relationship counseling to address frequent bickering or to resolve indecision about whether to have children. If this same couple is told that they are “enmeshed” or “too close”, this can suppose a problem where there is none, confuse the clients and possibly create new relationship problems if they try to impose artificial distance in their relationship.

Although many LGBTQ therapists are not aware of this research on lesbian couples, most LGBTQ therapists are familiar with very common queer and lesbian styles of relating. This gives LGBTQ relationship therapists—and their clients—a distinct advantage in couples therapy. Because San Francisco LGBTQ therapists know what healthy queer relationships look like, we are more easily able to identify the real sources of relational problems in lesbian and queer relationships.

Lesbian and queer relationships can sometimes be “too close”.  This can be the case if the relationship feels suffocating to one or both people, if one person feels controlled by the other, or if the emotional well-being of either person is somehow undermined by the closeness.  A skilled San Francisco relationship counselor who understands queer and lesbian relationships will be able to see the difference and is well-suited to help queer and lesbian couples.

San Francisco Couples Counseling For LGBTQ Couples

You may also be interested to read about my work with LGBTQ couples, generally.

If you think I may be a good relationship counselor for you and your partner, I encourage you to contact me. If you are ready now, now is a very good time to to reach out. I will be happy to hear from you.

You can schedule a time to talk, call 415-881-8260 or email me.